Why is shadow work so important?!

My Shadow story…

I’ve had a lifetime of crisis & trauma that could span 3 life times, some would say I am the wounded healer archetype. The amount of times I’d ponder why? Am I just meant to live a life of bad luck? I played right into the victim archetype for such a long time, really missing the universes lessons. so like a broken record, shit hit the fan ALOT!

I’ve stood in my masculine energy for the longest time, thinking if I can just persevere and keep going I’ll be okay. Any personal crisis I endured, I told myself to just focus on work and keep myself busy till I felt better. In my head I was a warrior, a survivor and nothing could stop me, I was a bad ass bitch. It wasn’t until I hit my 30’s that it started to hit me all at once. Realising I wasn’t healed, I had been avoiding & suppressing just to survive. I wasn’t acknowledging the darker part of myself. I was in survival mode operating in a hyper vigilant state.

For me it started to manifest as Disillusions with society, losing faith in organisations & our government, fatigue started to hit and I’d cry just getting out of bed to go to work. I found myself listening to motivational speeches and podcasts on my way to work just to get in the right frame of mind. Everything felt like dread and I was running on empty.

I’d go to work and in my career I’d be helping others work through their own crisis and traumas, by the end of the day my anxiety was through the roof and I was looking forward to going home and curling up in bed. However, that didn’t happen cause I’m a mother and I have a house to maintain.

I noticed when things started to really hit that peak point of inner turmoil, I’d get annoyed by my own family & getting triggered by trivial things that normally wouldn’t trigger me. I began getting nightmares of all the things I’d been through, of things to come, I’d wake up feeling like I never slept, songs could trigger flashbacks or I’d get anxious in large crowds or the supermarket. I found myself crying all the time, I just felt awful.

It impacted my relationships with family, friends and my partner. I worked myself into complete exhaustion and burnt out. I just wanted to isolate and recover.

I can safely look back on the past and see it from a completely different perspective now. Subconsciously my body forced me into rest. Like Jim Carey said “depression is just another word for DEEP REST”. It was in that deep rest that I started to do the work, identifying I had been living in my shadow like a robot, the lights were on but no one was home. I had become a prisoner of my own design. I felt like I was in literal hell, a dark void that I couldn’t even find the exit from. Once I had been great at finding solutions, this hell was a black hole of nothing. I had tried many different things over the years, therapy, medication, volunteer work ect… In recent years through working with clinicians I’ve discovered that I have medical resistant depression and PTSD. None of it really worked for me and sometimes the medications made me worse. Not to mention it cost $150-$200 for an hour of therapy, who can afford that in this current living crisis… not me. I was met with a dilemma, one that the mainstream world couldn’t help me with and so i focused on my spiritual path a little more intently. A journey of self discovery and healing through shadow work and witchcraft has saved my life. I’m ready to bring forward everything I’ve learnt to help others going through similar situations.

I found my tribe, a circle of women in the witch community that helped me explore deeper within and I started to understand my shadow better. My Intentions, willingness, honesty, boundaries, authenticity and personal accountability were needing work.

Fear became my beacon of light. What bought up intense anxiety was the key to moving forward. Taking a step toward my fears helped me overcome them.

So why is it important???

Shadow work is an ongoing process of inner exploration and self discovery. It allows us to break down our traumas & triggers, understand them on a deeper level, and acknowledge the role we played in its creation. Shadow work, opens up the flood gates of personal forgiveness, acceptance, truth, surrender and understanding. You can’t release what you don’t acknowledge, you can’t speak your truth if you constantly tell yourself a story from the ego’s perspective. Shadow work encourages you to be completely vulnerable & open and face your fears head on.

This week i learnt some fantastic phrases from another shadow work coach “what you resist, persists and the thoughts you fight, you feed”.

Your shadow is always going to be apart of who you are, how much power you give it is up to you. You can either shove it down and ignore it or do the work to understand it, surrender to it, be completely honest and authentic with yourself.

You may be met with conflict at first, even find yourself releasing & letting go and your head is saying “yeah I’ve released it” then your heart whispers doubt and you don’t feel authentic in the release. Or your ego says I’ve released this pain and overcome this issue but your mind says no you haven’t, stop lying, the ego then pushes back in defence and you stay in survival mode of fight or flight. Shadow work is not a quick fix and may take a while before you start to see the results. However, if done correctly, it is life changing and results last.

How much power have you given your shadow?